This is Our Tuke! He was joy when he was with his family on a walk, on a trail or just laying around with Foxey
He was last Australian Cattle Dog left at an adoption event and we took him home to foster and within a week it changed to an adoption. The change was two fold we did not think he would be adopted and he had begun to fold his way into our hearts. Tuke led any encounter with other dogs with a bark or growl but he was Our Tuke. He wanted to be with us wherever we were as he was Our Tuke. Our neighbors saw a bit of a crazy dog but at home he was sweet and loyal and Our Tuke! We will miss his joy on a walk or a trail or chasing a ball, as that is what Our Tuke did. Despite being 17 and blind and having diabetes and 2 tumors he strutted the neighborhood on his last day like the Showdog of Welchester that he was,Our Tuke! Deb, Foxey and I will miss Our Tuke but he is totally folded into our hearts for evermore!
US Soccer Needs Our President to do for Us What she did on the field and she can! Cindy Parlow Cone has come along just when we need her! USA! USA!
These are the 3 things that need doing for US to reset and start moving forward and you are the one to lead us there!Because you have been a youth, collegiate and pro coach you can turn us into a team!
1)Get all of us who love the sport working together! Listen to all of the factions that authentically want the best for the sport. To get all of us pulling together we must be heard. In recent years it has been my way or the highway. There are many great organizations and many knowledgeable people that should be heard. Then the best decisions can be made in a way that brings us all together to make Soccer USA better. Madame President bring us together!
2)College Soccer needs your help, in particular Men’s College Soccer. Having been a player and a coach at this level you know the difference it can make in a player’s and person’s life. This is an advantage the US can take advantage of over most of the rest of the world. We need the backing of U S soccer to make college soccer better. We need to have the pro support as this is where a majority of your fans will continue to grow their love for the game. It gives our youth players a place to continue their careers and coaches a place to improve and hone their craft. Madame President you are the perfect one to change the thinking in Chicago about the force that College Soccer could and should be for the USA! USA!
3)Help US Soccer to realize its style! The USWNT as you well know have done a great job over the years of playing the way they needed to in order to have success! When the USMNT has done the same it has had the most successful runs in the World Cup. When we have tried to copy other countries’ styles we have struggled. Our latest flavor has been the Dutch whom we can learn much from but we should not copy. (My fav all time player is Dutch) But a strength that our national teams have almost always had is an area that their teams might have wanted to learn from our teams. The Women’s and Men’s US teams have been examples of work ethic, competitive fight and team cohesion (we can not do well with out these very American attributes). I will wait for the KNVB to call as they have had good enough talent to have won at least one if not more if they had possessed these traits. The point being we take ideas and people from all over the world that make our country better. From this we come up with the way that works for US now! Madame President help us recognize the way for our USMNT be successful and the USWNT can continue to lead the world!
You are the right leader at the right time! All your experiences have led you to this spot at this time! Madame President let us know what we can do to help you lead us! USA! USA!
Madame President We Need You Now!
Help us come together, grow College Soccer to be a US advantage, and find A USA style to help us be our best! Thank You in Advance, BDE
Some Ideas From BDE that have been percolating for a few days. Hope you enjoy or think about them and share them even if the ideas don’t grab you yet, maybe you have some to add to help us Stand Together Separately!
Went to the grocery store this week and not during senior time even though I can. Been interesting to learn that you’re in the most vulnerable group even though you don’t think of your self that way? At the grocery store able to get some gems : a six pack that has been hard to come by (6 rolls of TP), a box of CheezIts, and Boulder Salt and Vinegar Chips. What a glorious haul! Deb and I found that 30 minutes after senior time was better than during senior time but keep that to yourself. We bought only what we would use for the next 2 weeks, so we all have a chance to take home a 6 pack, CheezIts, and Salt and Vinegar Chips. We all need to Stand Together Separately! I am not a Health Care Worker, A Grocery Store Worker, A First Responder or A Truck Driver but I can do my part by staying at home and staying healthy. I can thank and appreciate them and do my part by being positive, hopeful and doing what our medical leader Dr. Fauci asks us to do! Standing Together Separately!
Interesting times when leaving the house to get groceries is such a big deal!
Lean On Me
Bill Withers passed this week and his song Lean On Me is a great one for us to be singing for each other and to each other right now. I have used it before with teams to Stand Together and realize how we are connected. The chorus goes like this;
Lean on me when you’re not strong
I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
Til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.
Music and songs can do wonders in causing us to be motivated to do positive acts! So listen to Bill Withers sing “Lean On Me” and sing along with Bill. It would be a super tribute to him and might just help us all Lean toward Standing Together Separately!
Battle of Iwo Jima, flag being raised on Mt Suribachi 75 years ago
Our leaders say we are at War with this virus yet we are not acting like we act when we are at War! I was reminded last week by Harry Smith (NBC) that 75 years ago more than 6,000 mostly 18-22 year olds gave their lives in the Battle of Iwo Jima fighting on a tiny atoll in the Pacific that helped in winning WWII in the Pacific. Over 40,000 Americans were injured. Americans back home were needed also. Men and women that could not go to the front lines in Europe or the Pacific did their part by rationing, building, raising funds and most of all supporting the cause. If,as our leaders say, this is a War, it is a World War in which every country of the planet is on the same side. When ever we have fought in a World War our country has come together. We don’t make excuses or look for someone to blame, we find ways to get the job done to save our people (in this case all of humanity together). Let’s Stand Together Separately to help each other fight this battle by finding solutions to the problems at hand. That is how we have attacked the challenge of World Wars throughout our history and we have won by working positively together. This time it’s for all of us on Earth!
Here is some inspiration;
This one says to me that we all need to do what we can do to make our world situation better
The Darkest Nights bring out the brightest stars!
A BDE saying that means when we face challenges is when our character is revealed
And so my fellow Americans ask not what your country can do for you– ask what you can do for your country
President John F Kennedy’s inauguration speech, he could be passing the torch to us Today!
We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, and whatever affects one another directly affects all indirectly.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in sermon that could be made today about how we all need each other to make the best of ourselves and each other
The BDE call to action for two weeks (if we do it for 2 weeks it could become a habit) 1) Be Positive, Grateful and Appreciative to each other ,wave and smile. 2) Be a part of solutions ,don’t criticize or look backwards. We are helping each other not placing blame or finding fault! 3) Sing “Lean on Me” with Bill Withers and send to me and others inspirational songs and quotes that touch your soul in this challenging time. 4) Check up on someone that means something to you! Doesn’t have to be some one that is vulnerable as everyone needs and enjoys being checked on. 5)We are Americans! Not democrats or republicans, not red and not blue but the people of the USA trying to help save the citizens of the World! Standing Together Separately and wearing a mask!STS in a mask
In this period of turmoil throughout the world I offer up this story of overcoming challenges and what is supposed to happen. The hope is that it will bring us all a bit of Joy in what can happen when you put a Miracle Man together with a Superhero Woman!
On March 12, 2019 my friend Mark Hinson was out on an early morning ride on his bicycle not too far from his home in Gallatin, TN. He was involved in an accident with a car going approximately 45-55 mph. It was a horrific accident for all involved but this is the moment that Mark moves from an extraordinarily fit 61 year old to Miracle Mark. Those collecting him to rush him to the hospital were not hopeful of his survival but they did not know of the strength of the Man involved and the Superhero that is his partner.
This is how Miracle Mark looked the first time I viewed him at the hospital
When we gathered at the hospital his family and friends were given little hope and this was a period where we (or at least me) were filled with grief but we had also underestimated the toughness, will to live and fitness of the Miracle Mark.
I even failed miserably in trying to give the family a pep talk that there was hope. But one amongst us did not need a pep talk as long as Miracle Mark was breathing Sue ,his wife ,knew there was a way and this is why for me, she is always going forward known as Super Sue. Her mental and physical strength was that of a Superhero, she was positive, hopeful and the giver of strength to family, friends and care givers. She pretty much lived at the hospital for the period that the Miracle Man was at high risk. Super Sue studied and researched everything that was and could be done to enhance Mark’s recovery. The healthcare givers did a tremendous job in the recovery of Miracle Mark but their efforts were enhanced by Super Sue being there to aid them in every situation.
As you may have surmised in a little over a year to this day Miracle Mark has gone from the above picture to doing very well today! He can play golf and swim and enjoys everyday as a gift given to him to celebrate with his Superhero partner!
Miracle Mark and Super Sue just a few months ago showing how they live up to their names!
I hope at a later date to do a story that we delve into how they both found the strength to overcome the many challenges they each faced in this Miracle story.
The frankly positive part is the way in which this story changed me and my life hopefully going forward. As I was flying to Tennessee to see Mark (before becoming Miracle Mark) I was overcome in that I realized that I had not expressed to him how much he meant to me and how proud of my friend’s accomplishments I was. We had always been two friends that sort of let things be understood rather than said. We were more interested in needling each other than in getting down to the fact that we were important figures in each other’s lives. The lesson that I have taken forward from my friends Miracle Mark and Super Sue facing of their tremendous challenges is that it is Great on both sides to tell people how much they have meant to your life. This is special for the giver of these communications and for the receiver of these special words.
So to Super Sue, Miracle Mark and to all those whom have made my life special and worthwhile thank you until I get around (which hopefully is not too long) to speaking with you in person. Today I can tell my Superhero that I live with how much she makes everyday a holiday even (or especially when we are on lockdown).
Going to try to put out an uplifting message as often as possible over the next few weeks or months as Miracle Mark and Super Sue show us it is amazing what can be done with Hope, Belief and Determination!
This has been weighing on me since the day that Kobe, Gigi and the seven others were gone from the earth too soon.
Millions and Millions of people were moved to honor Kobe, Gigi, John, Keri, Alyssa, Christina, Sarah, Payton and Ara. People have found many ways to honor those lost in this tragic accident whether they are famous athletes wearing Kobe’s jersey or a blue collar worker with a homemade T-shirt. This blog is about 3 ways we could all honor Kobe in how we live our lives based on an interview I saw Kobe do since he retired. For sure, Kobe when he played basketball (one of the best ever) was the Mamba but the following suggestions are to honor Kobe the human being!
Kobe being the family man he strived to be!
Kobe in an interview stated that the true legacy of any person is how they change the world and the difference that is made because of their life. The following are ways to honor Kobe by the way we all live our lives
Tell and show people that you care about them, that you appreciate them, that they made (are making)a difference in your life. Don’t we all wish Kobe knew how much he meant to the world. All of us have Kobes in our life maybe not superstar athletes but people that matter. Honor Kobe and let them know!
Kobe found redemption in becoming a better man, became a better family man and better human being by helping others raise their lives.
Take stock of how you are living your life ?are you making a difference?is the world better because you’re in it? You don’t need to be a superstar to be a part of making your family, your community and your country better but by working to improve conditions for all, you are a superstar. Honor Kobe by becoming the best person you can be!
Kobe being a Girl Dad
Kobe was in the midst of making a big difference for girls and women’s sports as a Girl Dad!
You don’t have to be the Dad of a daughter to like, appreciate and honor girls and women! They deserve it. Have earned it and it is their right! Honor Kobe by being a Girl Dad and respect the rights of all!
I finish this with a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr that I found in Jon Meacham’s “The Soul of America” We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. Honor Kobe help us all be better!
The Otters are the mascot for California State University Monterey Bay and for the 2019 Men’s Soccer Season I got the pleasure of being a part of their float (a float is what a group [family] of Otters living together in the ocean is called). Graeme Jaap is the head coach with MB Soccer and these are the areas of emphasis that helped our squad become a better team.
California State University Monterey Bay is a beautiful spot!
Communication– The first key to becoming a better coach that helped both Graeme and I was communication. Not just giving out information but making sure everyone in the program understands and is ready to carry out the directions as intended. First you give the What- is going to be done. Then the Why- reason this needs to be done. Followed by the How- blueprint for getting tasks accomplished. It is also important to give your instructions in as many mediums as possible so that all types of learners can catch on to What, Why and How the goals can be accomplished. The other key is a good leader is persistent in keeping those in the program on task and heading toward their mutual goals no matter how many times and ways the tasks need to be Communicated. A great leader involves those in the program in getting the messages across to team members.
Standards- A second area that we identified as a key to improving a program, team or organization is having and or raising standards. These are the principles of conduct and level of quality necessary to be a part of the team. This is the first and most important issue to be communicated (see above) throughout the program. The raising of standards that are followed and bought into, changes a team faster than anything else an organization can do. If your team has a growth mindset and the communication suggestions are followed, immediate and consistent improvement will happen. If you are leading a fixed mindset group (not a team) your task is much more difficult and will take much longer but can still be done (that is another blog or book).
Communicating, setting Standards, and finding Joy
Joy- The final area that helped Jaapy and I take steps toward becoming better coaches was finding and realizing the Joy in what we are doing. I was able to enjoy everyday I got to spend with the great group of student-athletes and soccer coaches ( Zach Chirazi and Jaapy). Your entire program changes when you find the joy in what you’re doing because everyone you touch whether it’s once a day or once a year can feel your energy. Joy brings out joy and is a much better way than grumps bringing out grumpiness. If you are a coach and in my case a soccer coach and you don’t feel joy ,move on to something else. Find your Joy!
Shane Carew got me started with the Otters and got them headed toward success. Great work Shane and look forward to our next adventure!
Thanks to Jaapy, Zach, Kirby Garry, Dr. Dan Freigang, the other coaches and administrators in the CSUMB, and most of all the student-athletes of the Otter Soccer Program! It was a Joy to be a part of your float. My wish is for the Otters in the nearby Pacific and the ones on the MB campus to have many great years ahead, as both groups deserve!
As I enter my third year with Best Day Ever I am adamant about becoming a better Consultant to each of the teams I partner with and even some I don’t. With The Purple Bears Head Coach Ross Duncan (left) Yuta Sidewinder -Assistant (middle) BDE Consultant before a 2019 match
Having worked with University of Central Arkansas Mens Soccer for 3 seasons, expectations for the team’s performance has increased at least 10 fold. We also have a coaching staff where the assistants are both taking up new roles with greater responsibilities in determining the program’s success. The random thoughts that follow are key to the team taking steps to reach its potential.
1) Plan for and set higher standards for Head Coach, Consultant, Sports Psychologist (Dr. Dan Freigang)Assistant Coaches(Matt Taphorn and Yuta Nomura), Ops guy- Thomas Milner, and Athletes– the planning and setting of these standards began at the end of last season. These need to be communicated and understood everyday by everyone in the program from the top dog through the red shirts that are not dressing for the matches.
If they are not communicated and understood the standards will be meaningless! You will need to start over if you want to get to your destination at seasons end. Like trying to take a trip with no idea where you’re going, how you’re getting there and why you want to go!
2)If we want to get better (when you’ve been with a program for three seasons it’s most certainly “we”) the roles of the new assistants need to be clearly defined with expectations and parameters clearly defined. The head coach, consultant and sports psych guy are all key in helping these assistants in achieving success in their increased roles. The three veteran members must also increase their efforts and change their duties to meet the needs of the new staff.
Communication between staff members must be clear, concise and honest! If any member is struggling the entire staff is responsible for helping to alleviate the problems for that staff member. As a problem for one staff role is a problem for the program until it is solved!
Enjoy and celebrate your successes! The Purple Bears do!
3) A large part of the Purple Bears successes are attributable to the premise that everyone has value in the program and all members are cared for according to the core covenants. The three guides of this journey are the Head Coach Ross Duncan, Sports Psychologist Dr Dan Freigang and their BDE consultant Frank Kohlenstein. Also keys to keeping the message consistent are assistants Matt Taphorn and Yuta Nomura as their contributions needed to change as the roles they carried out were much more in depth. These coaches needed to grow and learn as everyone associated with the program was willing to do to help the program take the next step forward. The Sports Medicine director for soccer, Kaci , the Director of Ops, Thomas and the Director of the Purple Bus, Ontee, are all on board and All In. As the BDE mantra goes “Do What The Team Needs”.
The Purple Bears aren’t sneaking up on anybody anymore but they are Bears and they are Purple!
They will continue to earn successes as long as from Head Coach to Newest Freshman they stay “All In” and “Do What The Team Needs!”
Tip 8-Appreciation- Great Leaders show their appreciation for all those that are involved in helping the program in any way! Whether it is the smallest jobs or those tasks thought to be the most important for success, Great Leaders are thankful and mindful that all the roles make a difference. Every individual that completes their part at their very best makes every job easier and makes the entire program better. This appreciation leads to all those within the organization trying to improve and keep their standards high. These parts of the program stay at the highest levels.
Great Leaders can also tell when some individuals are not bought in to what everyone else is bought into. After trying to motivate those failing to get on board, Great Leaders move on. They spend their time, energy and appreciation on those segments of the program that are ready to help the organization be its best.
BDE at CSUMB
Tip 9 – Major Changes or Small Details- Great Coaches know when they first take over an unsuccessful situation, to look at making their first major change is a change to make the biggest step toward putting the program into a successful spot. If taking over or carrying on in a successful situation, look to the details to take a step by step approach to making a good situation great. Change a bad situation by making the most influential major change first and in a good program look to the details (smaller changes) to move toward improving what is already good.
The UCA staff and team with BDE now looking at details
Tip 10- Great Leaders Have Balance in Their Lives- This will probably be the most controversial of all the tips and also the most important as having Balance in ones life is the only way to lead a Great Life! You can be a success without balance but you can not be a Great Leader! Contrary to what many preach, being single minded is not the best approach as by having Balance means your health, your family situation, your community situation all help you become a better leader to your team, business and organization.
Saying that you behave in a certain way and ignoring certain important aspects of what should be a portion of your life because you’re totally dedicated to your coaching, business or organization is a cop out. You can become a better coach, business leader, and organization president by putting your energy, creativity and passion into your health, family, community, and the program (the work) because the Balance makes each one better. Stop making excuses for missing important elements of your life because you feel that success in one area of the four components means ignoring other areas. Move toward Balance and find how Balance can bring a higher level of understanding toward becoming a Great Leader rather than a limited success. Becoming a better human being is a huge bonus!
It is the rise of a Best Day with Balance!
Look after your Health, your family and your community. This Balance will make you a better leader on the job on the way to becoming a Great Leader!
Because you have been a youth, collegiate and pro coach you can turn us into a team!
STS in a mask
With The Purple Bears Head Coach Ross Duncan (left) Yuta Sidewinder -Assistant (middle) BDE Consultant before a 2019 match
Best Day Ever Soccer Consulting and Coaching 